


Circle Jerk Chicken

by merrymelody



Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 15:05:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11210556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrymelody/pseuds/merrymelody
Summary: For the ‘trapped’ prompt of Table C at fffc.dreamwidth.orgI don't know whether to be sorrier for the fic itself or that pun, tbh.Anyway, set during episode 2x4.





	Circle Jerk Chicken

“Really? That's funny, innit? Because to me, it sounded like you were planning on robbing a bank.”

No, no, no. I said, er, "Let's have a big wank”. Communal masturbation. The old circle jerk.”

‘Oh, really? That what you said?’

They look at each other. 

‘Go on then. Where's the gobby one? The tits on her… No offense, love,’ Shaun turns to Alisha. ‘You can lick my salty balls whenever you want. All these boys? Don't wanna find your little pal; give her a cuddle, maybe a pillow fight in your knickers? 

Alisha rolls her eyes, but looking around she notes the guys’ eyes all glaze a little at the image. 

For fuck’s sake. 

Curtis is first to recover, shaking his head briefly, catching Shaun’s attention.

'You two are always fucking in my toilets, ruined ‘Silas Marner’ for me. Now instead of The Weaver of Raveloe, I'm picturing the wank I had listening to that. Don't tell me you've gone shy all of a sudden.’ 

He sits on the stockroom chair, feet up on the table.

‘So, five of you? How's that work, then? Do you let this one watch?' Shaun nods at Simon, who looks horrified. 

'He looks like a peeping tom. Or are the girls not your cup of tea, Romeo?' 

This last is aimed at Nathan who obviously isn’t capable of ignoring the jab. Wisely for him, he stays quiet, but pulls a sarcastic face.

However, Shaun doesn’t leave, doesn’t seem to be dropping the joke.

Alisha's starting to feel panicky; Shaun’s always made her a bit nervous. Maybe it’s the stuff Kelly says he thinks about when they walk past his office.

She yanks Curtis to her by the sleeve tied around his waist. 

'If anyone touches me, he'll find out about my power. Do something, rewind time!'

'You know it doesn't work like that!'

'Then hit him!'

'What, and get carted off to jail? That'll really help Kelly!'

Shaun's staring now, and at their hissed whispers moves closer. 

'Wh-'

Nathan interjects quickly. 

'She's a total pillow queen, mate, if you can believe it, just stands there and double clicks the mouse watching us lot...wank each other?' He trails off, making the statement a question; before inspiration, or more likely, a perverted mind, strikes again. 

Shaun sneers, thankfully cutting Nathan off; not buying it. 'Yeah, right.'

'No, really! Women, eh? Three handsome fellas, all dying to eat her out, fuck her ten ways from Sunday, however she wants, and she'd rather watch me spunking over this ugly twat.'

Nathan indicates Simon, who looks disgusted and strangely, briefly stung.

Shaun steps towards them, angry now. 

'Listen here, you cocky little shit-'

Alisha cuts in swiftly, now. 

'It's true, alright?' 

She's still shaky, adrenaline from the gun earlier, but she's been doing this bit with men since she was 14, it doesn't take too much effort to put the purr in her voice. 

'I know it's...nasty, but it just turns me on, I guess.'

Curtis looks almost as lost as Simon but despite their split, he's still a good guy, and gets swiftly how much worse this could turn than playing along with one of Nathan’s stupid ideas. Especially if Shaun finds out about her power. 

'Yeah, she doesn't like being touched, alright? She wanks, watching me and...him.' A split second pause before Curtis clearly decided Simon is the lesser of two evils, with a slight eye roll. 

Nathan's head is moving between Curtis and Alisha like he’s watching a tennis match, expression clearly split between panic over the situation they’ve found themselves in, and the joy of everyone being pretty much forced to play along with one of his retarded suggestion. He makes a quick offended face, mouthing 'Him?!' 

'Anyway, that's what you heard, right, in the loos,' Curtis finishes. He was never much of a liar, a good trait in a boyfriend, but a shitty one right now.

'That’s funny. I never heard a peep out of this one.’

Simon looks panicked at being included.

‘Don't like it?' 

'Are you kidding? Look at him! He likes it freakier than her! He's all trussed up in a ball gag and a strap on, man, we call him cockmonster!' 

Nathan's struggling to keep a straight face, despite the seriousness of the situation, and Alisha feels sorry for Simon. 

He's not hers of course, but she hates seeing his dull red blush and embarrassed expression, especially knowing he’s still a virgin. This is probably weirder for him than anybody.

'Yeah, cause he's got a monster cock,' Alisha adds smoothly. 

'I can't face actually doing him; I might get an internal injury. Wouldn't even fit in Kelly's mouth, she pissed off to get some more lube. Lucky Nathan here loves getting fucked so much, he takes one for the team. Total cockslut, you could probably tell.'

Shaun shrugs, nodding casually. 'The hair'.

Alisha almost breaks and cracks a smirk at Nathan's angry scowl and muttered: 'Hey. I do him, he does me, we all end up in a hot tub, looking at her tits', but then Shaun repeats himself.

'So get on with it then'. 

Out of options, they look at each other helplessly, before unzipping their jumpsuits slowly.

Curtis is least shy, his body's his tool, and though they're finished, Alisha can still admit he has reason to be proud. 

He doesn't look keen on whipping his cock out around the other guys, but Alisha likes to credit herself as being a good influence on him; as their stockroom adventures have got him used to yanking it with little notice, and in relatively public spaces. 

Alisha's not the reserved type herself, and they've all seen her tits displayed before, so she shrugs before unzipping, just glad she wore her nice bra today. 

It feels weirder, though, the idea of the others seeing her, than the actual standing there itself. 

Her Simon just gave her the keys to his flat. This will be the first guy she hasn't cheated on, the first guy she's wanted to do all that couple shit with, the last guy to see her undress. 

But her Simon also told her to let events play out. 

What if he's planning something right now to save Kelly? If Alisha fucks up, lets it slip to the others that things are different, that she's different, maybe that's the something bad that happens. 

Curtis is still mostly soft, his jutting jaw indicating he's pissed off, at the situation and probably still at her, especially egging on Shaun like that. 

Simon's cock is great, she knows from experience, but by no means the whopper she's been describing. Hopefully Shaun won't be looking hard enough to notice.

Simon pulls down his sleeves shyly, folding the collar of his suit neatly and smoothing his hair afterwards anxiously; but in stark contrast to his nerves, he's harder than Alisha expected, veins pulsing, balls tight, to Nathan's delight. 

'You little pervert!' he says in an undertone. ‘Look at you, ready to go! How long have you been sitting on that? Was it the ball gag line?' 

He takes out his own dick nonchalantly, of course. It’s not as small as Alisha expected. Frankly, from the amount his mouth runs, she'd assumed he was overcompensating; but it’s a fair average, although currently very hard, precum already forming at the tip.

'You're hard as well,' mutters Simon, with his usual lack of vocal expression, but a slight smirk playing on his lips. 'What's that about?' 

Nathan sneers, the effect is lost, however, by his tugging his cock for a few practice strokes. 

'Hey, we were talking about an orgy, man, that's just...biology. Or physics. Whichever.'

'Aw, look at these two lovebirds whispering,' smirks Shaun. 'Shall I leave you alone? I’d hate to miss the big event.'

Alisha's hand is tense, finger in her knickers, ready to get it over with, but Shaun’s leering gives her the creeps. 

Seeing this Simon, not her own, cock hard like she’s used to, but attached to a boy still so geeky and odd, adds to the weird dizziness, like she doesn’t know where she is suddenly. 

_Is this really happening? What the fuck?_

She falters momentarily.

Curtis sees this, and comes to her rescue once more.

'Look, man, this probably ain't your scene. I mean, it gets…dirty, yeah? These two, proper tongue-fucking each other, holes spread, the whole bit.' 

That one backfires. 

Shaun remains, one brow raised. 'Whatever gets the lady off. A gentleman doesn't judge.'

'Yeah, it definitely gets me going,' Alisha offers, but can’t help but curl her lip. 

Two guys was never her fantasy, unless they're worshipping her at the same time. 

And if it was two guys, Nathan Young is probably her last choice, only in front of Shaun himself and Chloe’s brother. 

'But you know, I'm a girl, we're all...romantic and shit. I like a bit of I love yous, slow kissing, them looking into other's eyes during, me humming something from Magic FM, you know. You’re a mature man; it’s probably not your scene.'

'Hey. I resent that. I am romantic as fuck. My girlfriend’ll tell you as much. Every time she lets me fuck her up the arse, I put a deposit in the mutual fund. A few more goes and that lovely lady's getting spoiled in Antigua.' 

'Lucky girl!' Alisha manages, trying not to let her revulsion show.

Nathan rolls his eyes, using his quietest voice, which is of course, ten decibels above everyone else’s definition of a whisper. 

‘I suppose none of you fuckwits are going to ‘take one for the team’?’ He uses silly air quotes, to Curtis and Alisha’s scowls, but Shaun’s still eyeing her tits. 

Nathan waves at Shaun, like he’s signalling a ship. 'Hey. Mr…Probation Worker Guy.’

Curtis shuts his eyes. ‘...For fuck’s sake.’

‘You know, you're a very handsome man. I don't suppose you want to do more than watch? I mean, _obviously_ ', Nathan glares at Alisha, ‘Simon here, and I are…very committed to each other, but we’re young, I can't be tamed, you know, and he's very accepting about a bit of the other, as long as I'm home for dinner on time, and all that. 

What'd you say instead of standing there, you give Alisha here something to put in the wank bank, let me suck you off? Simon can do you, it's like Niagara Falls man, you can't just go up the top and watch, you've got to ride it down.'

Alisha holds her breath, and for a second, she's petrified, convinced that Shaun will agree. 

She can tell from Nathan and Simon's panicked expressions behind his back that they are too, although worryingly, neither has softened in the slightest, unlike Curtis, who's practically shrivelled, like he's been in the coldest shower of his life. 

However, even Shaun clearly has limits, sexually, if not ethically or professionally.

At that he eyeballs Nathan for a moment, before finally, a short: 'You're all right', leaning towards Alisha. 

‘Sorry, love. Too much cock for me. Maybe if it was just this one -’ he nods towards Curtis, who’s eyes widen – ‘but watching these two pricks at it isn't worth it if my dick isn't even getting wet.’ 

Nathan snaps his fingers. ‘Aw, can’t blame a bloke for trying! Ah, well, you know where we are if you change your mind.’

Shaun shakes his head sadly. 'Stunner like you, frigid. I guess that's what they call irony. Or is it? I can never remember. Anyway, call me if you and the other bird fancy a night off from all these pouffs. 

In the meantime, you freaks can go wash my car, its filthy. You'll like that.' 

He flips his keys on the table, and exits, shaking his head. 

'I knew you lot were up to something.'

Curtis is already zipped up, to the neckline for once, grabbing the keys. 

Alisha swiftly yanks her own jumpsuit up, embarrassed. She knows her Simon doesn't want her approaching his present self yet, but it’s still awkward having him think of her in conjunction with all that shit they said.

Simon awkwardly pulls up his own suit, fiddling with a button repeatedly, neck a little shiny with sweat.

After a long pause, Curtis offers: 'So...robbin' a bank, yeah?’ before exiting like he’s trying to win a race.

'I can uh, take the case when they change over, it's nearly 5pm, they'll be cashing up soon', Simon offers in a rush.

Alisha can't help her own, dry: 'I'll get my coat', or sneering at Nathan, who calls out: 

'Shotgun! Give me two minutes!'

'Tell me you're not going to,' Alisha asks, but what’s the point? She already knows the answer.

'Hey, it's a proven relaxant; you want us taking on this Conti cunt all tense? I know we're pressed for time, I won't even wash my hands after!' 

Nathan follows the others out of the stockroom, hand creeping towards the crotch of his jumpsuit before the door even shuts behind him.

Alisha sighs. Her Simon told her he'd planned everything, but she really can't believe he had this in mind.


End file.
